Thoughts on Vocation

This is my last post from the book Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton. I've gleaned quite a bit from it and recommend its reading. Merton says of vocation, "A man knows when he has found his vocation when he stops thinking about how to live and begins to live. When we are not living up to our true vocation, thought deadens our life, or substitutes itself for life, or gives in to life so that our life drowns out our thinking and stifles the voice of conscience. When we find our vocation--thought and life are one."

I've found out that it's possible to be in my true, God-given vocation, and because too much thought and over-analyzing go on, the joy in my work is gone. My thoughts have deadened my life. My lists are a substitute for real work done with joy and to God's glory.

I've never thought of myself as a perfectionist before. I do like to do things well, but if they're not perfect that's okay. But in this one area I am a perfectionist. I'm always trying to find the best or quickest way to do a task; to get as much done in a day as possible. Thus the endless lists with the estimated time each chore will take written beside it. I've focused more on the destination and not on the journey. And that makes me too driven. I never get as much done as I wish I could.

That's why this week I made a goal of not thinking about things too much. Instead of writing times beside the chores, I made a list of what I wanted to do that day and numbered the items in order of importance. I've been much less stressed each day too. This isn't my preferred way to make lists and get things done, but for now, until I quit being such a psycho, it's working.