My Teaching Days Have Ended

After thirty-one years of being involved in the education of our five children, either homeschooling or  formal, I'm done.  I never thought this day would come.  Not that I've been yearning for it that whole time.  I've only been ready to give it up the last six years or so.  And now it's here.

And to top that off, our youngest will be moving out in less than two weeks.  When it rains it pours.  As with most major parenting events, it's bittersweet.  I'm really ready for this new season, yet it finds me feeling anxious, lonely, uneasy, and kind of rudderless.   I'm a little ill-tempered and disgruntled and am having a hard time focusing.  I've been broadsided by all these unexpected feelings.  I'm asking myself, if I really am okay with not teaching and having no children living at home anymore, why am I feeling this way?

I know this is normal when cycling from one lifestage to another, I just didn't expect it this time.  I thought I'd be shouting Glory!  I AM glad, but I guess when you do something for so long, it's hard to give it up even when you don't want to be doing it.  Proof again that we're creatures of habit.

I have lots of plans for traveling and doing projects around the house.  I hope to take a painting class this fall.  I want to reconnect with my friends and have tea parties and sewing get-togethers.  And I'm especially looking forward to spending uninterrupted time with my husband.  We've waited a long time for this!

Goals Realized

From time to time I enjoy reading my journals from the past. It's encouraging to see what I've accomplished and how I've grown over the years. I came across this entry from 2006, eight years ago, and was surprised to see that I've accomplished all but one of my goals. I'm not published yet, at least in the way I want to be. I had some poems published in the local newspaper when I was in high school, and my photography was featured in an interview for a local magazine a few years back, but I want to write a book and have it published.

There's just something about writing goals down that make them happen. Yes, you have to work to make them become reality, but that first act of getting them out of your head and into the world on paper is a huge first step to making them real. All the experts say so. Read their books. It's true.

For some clarity on #5, Gayle is my husband.

I'd encourage all of you to keep a journal. If you can't look back at where you were, how can you measure your growth? I highly recommend it to all as a way to gauge your progress on goals and in life.

P.S. In my list of spiritual books for that year, I have listed The Power of Now. Don't waste your time. The best thing I got from that book was the title.