Remember on our trip I told Laurel that I was discontent? Well, it's getting worse. This is more than my annual fall melancholy. I'm going through some internal changes; spiritual not physical. I don't know where God is taking all this. I'm just trying to be still so I can hear what He's telling me. No, I don't think God talks audibly anymore. But if I'm fretting and not staying in his Word and praying, it'll take me a lot longer to figure this out. I don't want to "kick against the goads" as Paul says.
The 29-day giving thing stirred up something in me. I like giving things away that are hard. I'll post later on that whole experience. I keep decluttering the house, and it just keeps coming and coming. And I really don't think my house is very cluttered. I think I'm just being convicted about having too much; more than we need. It's sucking the life out of me. I spend way too much time going through mail, catalogues, e-mails, etc. I want my life to be meaningful and to make a difference in this world. Doing those types of things isn't benefitting anyone; me included.
I don't feel called to go on foreign soil as a missionary. I feel called to homeschool my youngest child, to be a godly example for my children and grandchildren, to be an older woman in the church and teach younger women to love their children and husbands, and to be a prayer warrior for our world to be a better place. But I feel very much hindered by the superfluous stuff in my life.
Anyone out there ever felt the same way? How did you solve it, or are you still working on it? Any words of wisdom are welcome. Help!
4 comments:
You know I feel this way!! I just don't know what the answer is but I tend to have an overly negative attitude about things...I have to remind myself that "stuff" isn't evil :)
I just want to live with "few things but good things" and to not be owned by my stuff...and not need to spend large amounts taking care of my possessions.
And I agree, the 29 days of giving really helped me. I am going to continue it indefinitely because I really like having that perspective.
I often feel this way and recently it is even more so around the holidays. All 5 of my kids are grown with one still at home going to college. I am now to about page 80 in that book I told you about and one of the things she is pointing out is that we have 2 things that we have to do. Love God and love our neighbor. Everything hinges on these. So with that said, we should be able to give up everything that does not propel up towards this goal. Not that we have to do without, just make sure the "stuff" does not hinder us from this. It may just be your time in life for patience. People need people who have a little time to listen, care, etc. Everyone is so busy with stuff! Ha, heading off to work now. I love your blog!
I AM SO WITH YOU HERE! First step for me is to just quit buying stuff. Even stuff I THINK I need. Virtually everything I've bought recently, I've regretted. I'm learning to wait before buying because it is likely that I will decide that I don't NEED it after all! (This is one of the reasons I have gone to Hobby Lobby yet!)
I feel similarly. I did the 29 day giving and was actually surprised how easy it was. But clutter does have a way of creeping back in. Personally, I have to fight the demon of wanting things I really don't need (I actually wrote a post about wanting the Kindle and a steam mop).
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