Remember on our trip I told Laurel that I was discontent? Well, it's getting worse. This is more than my annual fall melancholy. I'm going through some internal changes; spiritual not physical. I don't know where God is taking all this. I'm just trying to be still so I can hear what He's telling me. No, I don't think God talks audibly anymore. But if I'm fretting and not staying in his Word and praying, it'll take me a lot longer to figure this out. I don't want to "kick against the goads" as Paul says.
The 29-day giving thing stirred up something in me. I like giving things away that are hard. I'll post later on that whole experience. I keep decluttering the house, and it just keeps coming and coming. And I really don't think my house is very cluttered. I think I'm just being convicted about having too much; more than we need. It's sucking the life out of me. I spend way too much time going through mail, catalogues, e-mails, etc. I want my life to be meaningful and to make a difference in this world. Doing those types of things isn't benefitting anyone; me included.
I don't feel called to go on foreign soil as a missionary. I feel called to homeschool my youngest child, to be a godly example for my children and grandchildren, to be an older woman in the church and teach younger women to love their children and husbands, and to be a prayer warrior for our world to be a better place. But I feel very much hindered by the superfluous stuff in my life.
Anyone out there ever felt the same way? How did you solve it, or are you still working on it? Any words of wisdom are welcome. Help!