When He Just Doesn't Get Me

I ordered Desperate for my daughter who's in the middle of childrearing with six small children but thought I'd read it first. This paragraph on husbands resonated with me.

"One more example of my unhealthy expectations: I expect that my husband should "get" me. Oh this. How many of us just wish our husbands "got" us? We want them to understand us in profound ways, and then accept us with open arms. We want them to admire who we are, how we're made, and who we are becoming. We want to be known and loved.

What happens when they don't "get" us? What happens when they don't understand why we have to leave the dishwasher open all the time, or why we like Taylor Swift, or why we can't enjoy our time away if our feelings are hurt before we leave?

The "I expect" voice is a killer of joy and true contentment. My husband is not going to understand all of the inner workings of my soul. He's not always going to think I'm fabulous, and he is not always going to agree with me (he might even think I'm crazy sometimes). When we let our husbands off the hook and are content to be who we are for the glory of God and not the approval of man, life is greener and more full. I want to please my husband, and I want his unconditional love, but he's a sinner just like I am, and humans can't really give unconditional love; it's hard enough just to love.

We've got to snuff out that voice or it will burn our marriages. Find contentment in the overwhelming fact that you are perfect to God; He gets you because He made you. Live free in that truth."

Whew! That's a tall order. I confess that I've struggled with this issue for longer than I've been married; which is a long time. I'm a people pleaser, to those I truly love, in a big way. For the most part, I've let go of my real and unreal expectations, and life is surely more peaceful. But here's where I still struggle. When my husband DOES "get me" now, it doesn't mean a whole lot. I've hardened myself to not need his praise, but the fact that I've done that, I guess, really means that I truly still want it?

Human interaction is so extremely complicated. Especially when you've been with someone so long. It's impossible to unravel events, emotions, wrongs, rights, and whatever else goes into a marriage to make sense of it. So what to do? More next time and an analysis of the book What Alice Forgot.

Down By The River Side

This week I've been taking every road I know that crosses the Ogeechee River trying to find a 'Kodak moment' for an exhibition coming up at the end of May that'll benefit a local organization called The RiverKeepers. They're dedicated to cleaning up our local river, and our art association wanted to draw attention to them and raise a little money in the process.

The above three are the best ones so far. Each person can submit up to three works of art for entry into the exhibition. If they sell, a portion of the proceeds will go to the RiverKeepers organization. I love entering these local contests! Wish me luck or good providence.

Sprucing Up For Spring

Well, after 23 years, I'm finally adding more gingerbread to the outside of our house. When we first built, I was overly caution about how much trim was added not wanting the house to look like a wedding cake. Our house style, Carpenter Gothic circa 1835, is more plain than later Victorians.

But after living with it for so long, I've decided it needs a little more fancying up. So over the next 3-4 days, I'll be poring over online catalogues trying to find what I really like. If you're new here, the top house is ours. The following photos are possible trimmings, brackets, and gable decorations. Stay tuned for the final results.

I'm On Instacanvas!

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My photographs can be seen and bought now on Instacanvas. Check out my gallery, and if you see something you can't live without? Well, you know what to do!


https://my.instacanv.as/gallery

The Company of Good Books

"What one wanted when exhausted by the noise and impact of physical bodies was not no people but disembodied people; all those denizens of beloved books who could be taken to one's heart and put away again, in silence, and with no hurt feelings." The Scent of Water by Elizabeth Goudge

I immediately knew what she meant when I read the paragraph above. Sometimes when I'm weary of life's clatter and noise, I retreat with a favorite author who feels very comfortable without requiring anything of me. I don't usually long for the comfort of favorite book characters as I do favorite authors. Some writers just give me a good feeling and take me to places I long for.

Some favorite authors that I reach for over and over again are Elizabeth Goudge, D.E. Stevenson, Pat Conroy, Jane Austen, Rosamunde Pilcher, Miss Read, Patrick Taylor, George MacDonald, and Anthony Trollope.

The places I usually like to retreat to are the British Isles, Italy, or the American South. I feel most comfortable in these places because they take me to a place like home where I'm most nurtured and soothed. Is it a coincidence that my ancestors are from these places? I don't think so!

What about you? Do you have favorite authors you turn to for comfort? If so, who are they? Or is it book characters you most often like to meet?