Wednesday, September 26, 2012

An Older Mom

Click on the picture to enlarge it so you'll be able to read the poem. This is a poem I tore from a magazine when I was a young mom. Something in it touched me, so I saved it. Never did I think that I would be 56 and have a 14-year-old child. I am that woman in the poem. Yes, it makes me sad that my youngest child won't ever know me as a young mom. All she knows is a graying, middle-aged spread mama. I tell her that I'm a much better mama now than I was in my 30's. What I've lost in physical beauty I've gained in wisdom and patience, although sometimes I have neither. I have a greater capacity for love now and a greater awareness of our human condition. I'm much less judgmental. But how can a young teenager know these things and understand? She can't now nor should she know. I think she will someday when she's raised several children and become a grandmother herself. But I know I'll never see it in my lifetime. I take it on faith that God will continue His good work in her already begun. And with that I must be content.

9 comments:

M.K. said...

Excellent, wise words, Debbie. I've often thought these thoughts too -- that I was impatient, sharp, too quick with my kids 15 years ago. I'm a better mother now, but I lack the energy I was able to give my older children. I cannot be as fun or active with my daughter now. This makes me sad.

Gumbo Lily said...

As a 50 year old grandma, I know that I am far more patient now with the Littles than I was as a young mom. There are good things about age. Many good things.

debbie bailey said...

Gumbo Lily, you're right. I just wish we could have both energy AND patience. M.K. I feel the same way. While my energy level can keep up with her, I don't want to. I want to be a lot quieter than her lifestyle dictates.

Linda said...

I sympathise! I'm 53 with an 18 year old. But there are compensations, as you say.

magsmcc said...

Have you read Gilead, Debbie? This post makes me think so much of the fabulously gentle beauty and wisdom of that book. But then again, you're not quite at all such an old parent as the book's protagonist, so don't go hunting it out just yet...

debbie bailey said...

Mags, MK has that book on her Books Pinterest board. I keep hearing about it, so I'm going to have to read it!

gretchen said...

Debbie, I just discovered your blog and love it already. This post brought years to my eyes though I'm not sure why. It made my heart ache, I think, for my own mom. She was 37 when I was born and I know she felt this way from time to time. You are a great mom and role model for us "young" moms! Thank you for sharing your inspirations.

gretchen said...

Ps. I said "young",but I'm really not. I am older than your oldest child, just so there is no confusion! Lol

debbie bailey said...

Gretchen, thanks for your kind words. I hope to be a good example, and yes, you are definitely a young mom!