Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Many Sides of Love




"...no two children, even within the same family, have identically the same parents.
That is because the personality and gender of each child
brings out different things in the same parents."
~ recently quoted by Shari Howerton, author of Breaking the Chains
I was so glad to find the above statement, because it states a truth I've been trying to convey to some of my children. We don't treat our children exactly alike. If someone does, then I want to meet that perfect person!

Just as we respond differently to other people outside the family, so we do within the family also. I act differently around different friends, because they each bring out a different aspect of my personality.

Within the last month of so, two of my children have called me out about favoring my oldest son. After giving it a lot of thought and talking extensively about it with them, I have to admit that they're right. At least I can see why they think that. Of course I don't love him more, but I do treat him differently. He just makes me happy, because he's crazy and funny. He knows no boundaries (which sometimes gets him in trouble). He's a big nut. He also drains me of energy. I can only take him in small doses. But I love him for his craziness and how he makes me feel.

I love the uniqueness of all our children. I love Laurel for so many things I can't even begin to list them. She's my best friend. I just said why I love Garrett. I love Tyler for his sincerity and gentleness. I love Dylan's thoughtfulness and courtly manners. I love Darcie because she's my baby and always will be. And I'm not forgetting my two children-in-law, Matt and Leigh Anne. Our family has been greatly enriched by having added them. I love Leigh Anne's forthrightness, truthfulness, and willingness to work to put Dylan through school and Matt's willingness to talk about anything and everything at any time. Also, he's the best salesman on the planet.

I'll admit that I need to be more sensitive to my children's feelings and watch that I don't act like I love one more than another. I'm very thankful for children who love ME enough to exhort me; painful though it may be.


2 comments:

Left-Handed Housewife said...

I appreciate the honesty and the insights of this post. I don't treat my children alike, either, because they have such different needs and personalities. But I love them both with all my heart. I hope they'll see that!

frances

wayside wanderer said...

I actually have never thought of it quite this way and see that there is truth to this. I really appreciate the quote and will think on this more. You are very honest and I appreciate that, too. It seems like, in general, it is difficult to talk about parent/teen relationships in a way that wasn't difficult when they were smaller so I am really drawn to conversations women have about their older children. Thank you for that!