Identity

I don't know if you've noticed, but on my blog and Instagram "About Me" I say, "Homeschooling mom for 28 years" as the main thing that defines me. I'm very proud of that fact and always will be, but I don't want it to define me anymore. I'm ready to move on to the next stage of life, whatever that may turn out to be. Do we ever really know until it's over?

I know some things I want to try to be; a mom who's always there to listen or help, a grandmother who spends time and listens to her grandchildren, a wife who is a companion and helper to her husband, a homemaker who keeps a clean, happy home for all who visit or live there, a friend who is available, and a woman concerned with the larger world and doing what she can to alleviate suffering and advance Christ's kingdom throughout the world. A tall order to be sure!

I also want to write, paint, and capture beauty with my camera. I want to travel and see new things. I want to be happy and passionate about life.

I've known so many people that, as they get older, just sit around and don't do much of anything. They seem content enough, but I want more. I hope I'm never satisfied with just sitting around unless I'm unable to do anything else. Then I hope I accept it with grace and serenity.

For the rest of my allotted days, I want to run (or walk) and laugh and hold my breath in awe over a sunset. I want to wake up in anticipation of what the new day will bring. I want to fully live and have no regrets over a life less lived than it could have been.

So, I guess it's time to change my "About Me" paragraph to reflect my current life and to let go of what I've accomplished in the past, not that those years will ever be forgotten. How could they when they encompassed half of my life?

Two for One or in this case it's One for Two

On a recent trip to take the twins to see their great-grandparents, I traveled with my daughter up to Tennessee. We stopped for lunch, but the place only had one high chair. Not to worry. We put both of the itty bitties into the available chair, and they had a grand time swapping french fries. Aren't they the cutest things since...well, ever?

Sewing Camp This Week

I spent most of June getting organized and decluttered. July is going to be for digging in and getting things done. I've arranged the weeks as follows:

July 9-Sewing Camp
July 16-Photography Camp
July 23-Art Camp
July 30-Sewing Camp II

I usually go to the John C. Campbell Folk School to attend a week-long camp, but it just didn't work out this summer. So I thought, "But there's no reason why I can't make my own camps and learn about things I'm interested in." So that's exactly what I'm doing and am pretty excited about it.

I thought about being in 'class' all day, but with my other household duties, that's not possible. So I'm giving over 1 1/2 hours in the morning and the same in the afternoon for a total of 3 hours a day for camp. I should be able to get lots done in that time. I'll report back at the end of the week and let you know.

This morning I was able to get the panties almost finished and should be able to do that this afternoon.

This is the list of things I hope to accomplish during the two sewing camps this month.
1. Make girls' crossover dresses and panties
2. Make 3-4 pillows for the couch
3. Finish all repairs in basket
4. Make girls' white linen birthday dresses
5. Make blue ticking flowers and attach to a brown canvas purse

So that's my plan for this week's Sewing Camp.

What Would I Be?

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.--Epictetus.

And the struggle continues to find the time to create; to be what I feel God is calling me to be. Time is taken up mostly with children and grandchildren, worthy things to invest time in and yet...I can't get to myself. I only see myself at a distance; the things I want in life and the things I want to accomplish are ever elusive.

I feel like I need to set boundaries around some time for myself, yet I don't want to appear selfish to my family. I don't think that's a bad thing to do. I want to please my family, but I'm not pleasing myself. One thing I've discovered about myself which really surprised me. I'm a people pleaser when it comes to my own family. I have a fear of being called selfish by them. But good grief, how much is enough? It's a vortex I can easily get sucked into and never find my way out.

Youngest daughter and I are about as opposite as two people can be. She can't stand being alone and has to be on the go all the time. So I spend an inordinate amount of time running her here and there trying to keep her from being lonely and bored. But I say again, GOOD GRIEF! I'm sick of it.

I'm going to have to create boundaries and have the courage to stick to them even when she thinks she'll die from the silence that is at home. She needs to see that my needs aren't being met and at least meet me in the middle.

Well, that's all I have time for now. I have to go pick her up at the barn where she's been riding her horse for the last three hours.

Sunday Morning Rainbows

Grandson #2 spent the night with us last night. While waiting for church this morning he found the laundry room full of rainbows.

This crystal in the window makes beautiful rainbows when the Eastern sun hits it.

A rainbow over the sink. It's strewn with patterns and fabric as I try and decide which dress to make my twin granddaughters; one pattern and fabric=two identical dresses.

Rainbow on the beadboard ceiling.

Rainbow on the Ivory Girl's face and the cabinet.

A small thing that brings much joy to child and adult alike.

Lambie and Monk Monk

I had this sweet little two-year-old living with me all last week, so of course we had to do a photo session. I've taken photos of his older three brothers legs around the same age, so it was his turn. There's nothing sweeter than chubby toddler legs. His 'monk monk' got in the photo, too. His favorite thing is to sniff the tag. Kids are so funny!

His mama had a favorite lamb. She liked to put it's left ear up to her nose and breathe through the fabric. I replaced the pink lining of that ear three times.

One time at her house I asked her where Lambie was, and she said, "In the attic, I think?" I told her in no uncertain terms to go rescue Lambie right that minute and put it in the nursery for her children to love.

Lambie and I have been through a lot together. He's been left in Tennessee at my parents' house, and we had to go back after traveling for an hour. He was with Laurel when she drank poison, and some got spilled on him. A kind friend's sister washed him until the chemical smell could only faintly be smelled. He helped in Laurel's recovery by staying by her side day and night.

I carefully took apart that left ear three separate times, shopped for the perfect matching fabric, and remade it so she wouldn't know the difference.

Yes, Lambie and I have been a bond. Relegated to the attic indeed!